Stop Waiting Until Your Kids Are Older to Take the Trip
Why young kids aren’t a reason to postpone the adventure
“We’ll do that when the kids are older.”
I understand it.
Jessie and I could have said the exact same thing.
We could have waited until the kids could hike farther.
Until everyone could carry their own gear.
Until long driving days were easier.
Until nobody needed help getting ready in the morning.
Until they were old enough that we knew they would remember everything.
There are probably a hundred reasons why traveling with older kids would be easier.
But four months into a year on the road with our three kids, I am incredibly glad we didn’t wait.
Our kids are still young.
There are things they can’t do.
There are adventures we have to modify.
There are early mornings when getting everyone out the door feels like an adventure before the actual adventure even starts.
But there have also been so many moments when Jessie and I have looked at each other and realized:
They can do so much more than we thought.
And I wonder how many experiences families miss because they’re waiting for some future age when adventure is supposed to become easier.
They Don’t Have to Be Older to Do Hard Things
One of my favorite examples from this trip happened at the Grand Canyon.
The day before, Hudson stood at the rim and looked down at the South Kaibab Trail.
It looked steep.
It looked scary.
And from above, it looked like a pretty big undertaking.
The next morning, Jessie woke Hudson up early.
At 4:45 a.m., the two of them started down the South Kaibab Trail toward Skeleton Point.
Hudson was nine.
They hiked down into the Grand Canyon, made it to Skeleton Point, turned around, and were back at the trailhead by 7:45 a.m.
And one of the things Hudson realized?
The trail wasn't nearly as scary as it had looked from above.
That's exactly the kind of experience I want our kids to have.
Not because every nine-year-old should hike to Skeleton Point.
They shouldn't.
Kids have different abilities, experience, and fitness.
But because Hudson got to look at something that seemed intimidating, try it, and discover:
I can do this.
If we had automatically decided he was too young, he never would have gotten that opportunity.
Kids Become Capable by Doing
I think sometimes we get this backward.
We wait for our kids to become capable enough to do something before we let them try it.
But how do they become capable?
They do things.
They start with a short hike.
Then they do a longer one.
They carry a small backpack.
They learn what tired legs feel like.
They learn to keep going.
They learn how to walk on uneven trails.
They learn how to handle being hot, cold, wet, or uncomfortable.
They learn that sometimes getting somewhere amazing requires a little work.
Our kids didn't wake up one morning magically capable of hiking several miles through a national park.
They built up to it.
And they're still building.
They Are Going to Complain
This feels important to say.
Taking kids on adventures does not mean your children suddenly become cheerful little outdoor enthusiasts who skip down every trail appreciating the natural beauty around them.
Ours certainly don't.
They complain.
They're tired.
They're hungry.
Someone's feet hurt.
Someone doesn't want to walk uphill.
Someone wants to know how much farther.
And someone will inevitably ask that question again approximately four minutes later.
We've learned that complaining doesn't necessarily mean they can't do something.
Sometimes it just means:
This is hard.
And hard is okay.
We pay attention.
We take breaks.
We feed them.
We change plans when we need to.
And if something is becoming unsafe or a child genuinely can't continue, we stop.
But we've also stopped assuming every complaint means the adventure needs to end.
Sometimes kids need someone who knows them to say:
“I know you're tired. You can still do this.”
You Don't Have to Do Everything as a Family
Having young kids doesn't mean the entire family has to be limited by the youngest child.
We've learned this more and more as our kids have gotten older.
Sometimes all five of us go.
Sometimes we split up.
Jessie taking Hudson to Skeleton Point didn't mean all three kids needed to make that hike.
It was an adventure Hudson was ready for.
So he got to do it.
There will be adventures Macie is ready for that someone else isn't.
There will be things Lincoln gets to do when he's older.
Fair doesn't have to mean everyone gets the exact same experience at the exact same time.
Sometimes splitting up lets us say yes to an adventure instead of saying no because it doesn't work for everyone.
Young Kids Make You Experience Places Differently
There are definitely things that would be easier without young kids.
We could hike farther.
Move faster.
Stay out longer.
Spend less time looking for snacks.
But we'd also miss something.
Kids notice completely different things.
Jessie and I can be staring at an incredible mountain view while the kids are fascinated by a squirrel.
They'll spend twenty minutes throwing rocks into a lake.
They'll remember an enormous ice cream scoop more clearly than the overlook we drove an hour to see.
They get excited about earning a Junior Ranger badge.
They laugh when a bison walks past the car.
They find things we would have walked right past.
Traveling with kids slows you down.
Sometimes that's frustrating.
Sometimes it's exactly what you needed.
They Might Not Remember It All
This is probably one of the biggest reasons people give for waiting.
“Why take them now? They won't remember it.”
And honestly?
That's partly true.
Our kids are young.
Lincoln almost certainly won't remember every place we visit during this year.
Even Hudson and Macie will forget details.
They'll forget trail names.
They'll forget campgrounds.
They'll forget overlooks.
But I don't think childhood experiences only matter if you can remember them perfectly when you're 30.
Our kids are experiencing these things right now.
They're learning right now.
They're building confidence right now.
They're developing relationships with their siblings right now.
They're spending time with us right now.
And they're becoming the people they're going to be right now.
That matters even if some of the details eventually fade.
And We’ll Remember It
There's another side of the “they won't remember it” argument that I don't think gets talked about enough.
Jessie and I will remember it.
We'll remember Hudson looking at Jessie after catching a fish and saying:
“I think I'm finally getting it.”
We'll remember Macie grunting at bison in Yellowstone.
We'll remember Lincoln telling us the trees smelled like home.
We'll remember the kids opening the car door and screaming when they realized Shelby had come to surprise them.
We'll remember Barrie and Keri joining us in Zion and walking the narrows.
We'll remember friends meeting us along the way.
We’ll remember my parents meeting us in Yellowstone and the early wake up call to find animals.
We'll remember the hikes.
The campfires.
The ridiculous moments.
The hard days.
The days when everything went wrong.
And the ordinary evenings sitting outside the RV while the kids played.
Their childhood is part of our life too.
I don't need them to remember every second for those experiences to have been worth having.
Younger Kids Have Advantages Too
Older kids can obviously do more physically.
But younger kids bring some pretty great things to an adventure.
They're excited about simple things.
A Junior Ranger badge can be a huge deal.
A campfire is exciting.
Finding a cool rock is exciting.
Seeing a deer is exciting.
Sleeping somewhere new is exciting.
Getting ice cream is apparently the greatest possible conclusion to any outdoor activity.
There's a kind of wonder that comes naturally when kids are little.
I don't want to rush through that stage waiting for the supposedly easier one.
You Can Adjust the Adventure
Taking young kids doesn't mean pretending they're adults.
That's not what we're suggesting.
You adjust.
Maybe the hike is two miles instead of ten.
Maybe you start before sunrise because of the heat.
Maybe one parent takes the older child farther while the other turns around with the younger kids.
Maybe you bring more snacks.
Maybe you stop more often.
Maybe you spend the afternoon at the campground instead of doing another hike.
Maybe you carry someone for a while.
The adventure doesn't have to look the same as it would without kids.
It just has to work for your family.
Waiting Doesn't Guarantee Easier
I think this is worth remembering too.
It's easy to imagine some magical future age when family travel becomes simple.
Maybe it does get easier in some ways.
But life changes.
Kids get involved in sports.
School becomes harder to miss.
Work changes.
Finances change.
Schedules fill up.
Interests change.
Something else always comes along.
There may never be a perfect time.
And that's exactly why I don't want to spend our kids' childhood waiting for one.
Start Smaller If You Need To
You don't have to start with a year-long road trip.
Please don't read this and think I'm suggesting everyone buy an RV and disappear for twelve months.
Start with Saturday.
Find a trail.
Pack lunch.
Go fishing.
Camp for a night.
Visit a state park.
Take your kids somewhere you've been saying you'll visit “someday.”
If two miles sounds intimidating, walk one.
If camping sounds overwhelming, camp somewhere close to home.
If you've never hiked with your kids, don't start with the Grand Canyon.
Just start.
Then do a little more next time.
That's how our kids have become capable of doing what they're doing now.
Someday They Will Be Older
That's the part we know is coming.
Someday Hudson won't be nine.
Macie won't be this age.
Lincoln won't be the little one trying to keep up.
They'll be able to hike farther.
Carry more.
Stay up later.
Maybe travel will be easier.
And I hope we're still adventuring together when that happens.
But I don't want to get there and realize we spent their younger years waiting for them to become those kids.
Because there's something pretty great about who they are right now.
Messy.
Loud.
Hungry.
Sometimes complaining.
Usually looking for a snack.
And capable of far more than we give them credit for.
If there's a trip you've been talking about taking when the kids are older, I'm not saying you should blindly book it tomorrow.
Look at your family.
Look at your kids.
Figure out what they can handle.
Adjust the adventure.
Then ask yourself one more question:
Do we actually need to wait?
Because four months into traveling the country with three young kids, one of the things I'm most grateful for is that we didn't.
-Kayla